“My fiancée wants a wedding and I don't. I want a small ceremony. She wants to use the $16,000 that I have saved up for a home and for emergency funds. I already spent $3,000 on a ring she wanted and that was from my savings. We can’t seem to come to a compromise. I’m willing to spend $5,000 on the wedding and she says that’s not enough. What should I do?”
My initial reply was, “Break off the engagement.” I thought this woman was greedy. It would be better to invest more money in the marriage itself. A wedding ceremony plus a reception will last a few hours at the most. Marriage is for a lifetime.
Then I remembered something Billy Graham wrote in his autobiography “Just As I Am.” While attending Wheaton College, Billy got engaged to another student named Ruth Bell. Soon they got into a disagreement about their plans for the future. Ruth wanted to be a missionary in Tibet. Billy knew his calling was to preach the gospel throughout the world. At one point, Billy suggested Ruth return the ring he gave her. Ruth didn’t want to think about doing that. That settled the disagreement. Billy also told Ruth, “God will lead me, and you will do the following.” They were married for almost 64 years. Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed (Amos 3:3).
Are you a woman seeking a godly man for a husband? We’re out there but I’d like to offer some suggestions for when you think you’ve found the right one…
- Until you tie the knot, avoid spending too much time alone with him even in prayer. Soul ties can develop that are hard to break if he ends up not being “the one.”
- Be punctual when you plan to meet somewhere. It’s not cool to be “fashionably late.” If you can show up on time at your job, a doctor’s appointment, or a court hearing, then show that same kind of respect for your potential spouse. Jesus said in Matthew 5:37, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’”
- Clearly communicate with him. Don’t assume he knows what you mean. We cannot read your thoughts.
- Encourage him in his calling. Don’t distract him with suggestions incompatible with God’s plan for his life, especially if he’s already in full-time ministry. Husbands need helpmates to keep them focused on their divine mission. At the same time, he will seek to help fulfill yours.
God wants every believer to have a happy marriage (unless you desire to remain single), plenty of money so we can also help others, and a fruitful ministry. All three are possible when our priorities are in order.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” - Matthew 6:33
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